"Hold Your Light Where I Can See"

Snooty

2009-03-20T23:41:18Z

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snooty

Born in captivity, now 61 years old, presumed to be the oldest in the world.

Humped to Death

2008-08-22T02:20:42Z

I've been reading with morbid fascination about Annabel/'Grace' Chong, a pornographic actress who set the Gangbang World Record in January 1995. She attempted to have sex with 300 men, and invited this many. Only 70 turned up.

I love that only 70 showed, it's so telling.

boiled_elephant @ 2007-11-04T17:48:00

2007-11-04T17:49:26Z

boiled_elephant @ 2007-10-28T13:06:00

2007-10-28T13:35:18Z

But the stars that marked our starting fall away.
We must go deeper into greater pain,
For it is not permitted that we stay.

-Dante Alighieri

Rolling Stoned

2007-10-25T02:55:31Z

Well, I'm running down the road

tryin' to loosen my load

I've got seven women on my mind,

Four that wanna own me,

two that wanna stone me,

one says she's a friend of mine.

Take it easy, take it easy

Don't let the sound of your own wheels
drive you crazy.

My Favourite Activity

2007-10-01T18:34:13Z

You know what I really love? Packing myself into a suitcase. It's great. I can barely contain myself.

-All credit to Reader's Digest--

Heaven

2007-09-29T23:24:24Z

It's not easy having yourself a good time...

Australia?!

2007-09-29T23:15:32Z

Credit reluctantly goes to the dramatically-named 'silently--screaming' at deviantart.

Grrr

2007-09-29T23:08:40Z

Fucking Hell.

Wow...

2007-09-29T22:57:15Z

This was tagged in a random google image search with the phrase "ignorant to true beauty".

Hell

2007-08-04T00:49:34Z

Dear sweet noodlage...if I go to Hell, this is what it will look like.

harry potter 7

2007-08-03T01:34:58Z

"Seventeen, eh!" said Hagrid, as he accepted a bucket-sized glass of wine from Fred. "Six years ter the day since we met, Harry, d'yeh remember it?"
"Vaguely," said Harry, grinning up at him. "Didn't you smash down the front door, give Dudley a pig's tail and tell me I was a wizard?"
"I forge' the details," Hagrid chortled.

I know, I know: Harry's going to die in some convoluted plot twist that simultaneously destroys Voldemort, thereby eliminating the possibility of spin-offs and giving a vaguely happy ending, and there's going to be fighting and serious stuff, and loads of people are going to suffer, and there'll be loads of plot twists, and Snape will turn out to be some unfathomable double-double-crosser, et cetera.
But it's these little morsels of humour that make me really, really appreciate Harry Potter. The combination of cultural parallels, technological metaphors, acute social insights and clear understanding of how people of all ages react to a range of situations and experiences...these things render the ultimate fate of the story's protagonist irrelevant to me. I anticipate the pleasure of reading all 7 books through, my enjoyment unhampered by sudden character deaths and plot twists - because Harry Potter is one of those rare fictional worlds where every angle is given equal weight, granting it the vast, broad audience that is currently has.

For the record, I've only read as far as the above quote at time of reading, so if my guesstimates prove accurate...w00!

Fred Phelps!

2007-05-03T15:16:57Z

http://www.petitiononline.com/fred3456/petition.html

Freedom

2007-04-15T16:05:00Z

An interesting complication in the concept of freedom, lifted straight from 'Quiddities':

'Freedom from Constraint' strikes the ear as pleonastic, but constraint, even so, is itself a freedom of second order: freedom from decision.

And in contribution to the mood, courtesy of firstposter:

"making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity."

Peace And Hi-Ex

2007-04-14T16:58:24Z

The man who started the Nobel Peace Prize, Alfred Nobel, also invented and patented Dynamite explosive.
Small world, eh?

Anarchists

2007-04-13T16:55:11Z

The most irritating thing about anarchists is that, when you argue against them, when you present opposing views and rationales, they say "Ah, you've been raised to believe that. You've been brainwashed by the state and taught to think that way."

Please, don't insult my ability to think independently.

Idealists

2007-04-13T16:47:31Z

Young people, more so than old people, are very fond of idealism. That means they find it easy to see the world in terms of ideals, models and principles. Communism, fascism, right, left, centre.

Anarchy is particularly popular among young people, for example, in the same way the hippie movement was driven by discontent, misanthropic youths with no fondness for societal structure due to overbearing parents and oppressive schooling. By reverse psychology, the need to rebel is instilled in people by older or more powerful people exerting control over them...but I digress.

Young people are at a disadvantage when judging the world, in that they have not had to fend for themselves for any length of time. Being self-sufficient is a very humbling experience, and the people my age (17-18) that I've heard express the wisest, most enlightened views on political issues are those who have been made homeless by their parents and offered little or no support from adults. Having to make your own way in life is a varyingly tough experience depending on where you are in the world: in many african countries, it is life or death. In America, it's tedious, so I've been told, but not life-threatening unless you're truly hapless. In europe, there are various protective measures to help you out...but nowhere is quite as cosy as the UK.

Here in England, you'd have to really say "fuck" to everything to become permanently homeless. The government has set up a "nanny state", and there are all kinds of benefits and cheap housing to get you started. And this is only the most hard-done-by kids: most lead comfortable, sheltered lives, and have access to vast spending money, luxuries and pleasures, as well as good education.

In short, we don't know how good we've got it. Life is good.

The principle of democracy is very appealing. Everyone votes on decisions that affect the way things are done. Everyone throws in their pebble. But the reality is quite a disappointment: people here have no direct involvement in any decision-making processes, are badly informed and misled by the media, and the big decisions never enter into any kind of democratic process.

The reason democracy is such a let-down for us is that it's based on a cosy, local-community ideal. It DOES create a blooming haven of equality when applied to small villages, no doubt about it. So does communism, and so does anarchism, because they're all based around the same "little village" models.

When instigating any method of rule, you can't be fast about it. Democracy weadled its way into England over thousands of years, and as a result, we do not simply have a simple democratic model on a big scale; we have a gigantic mix of influences, with capitalism taking the lead. The balance is delicate and has aged like a fine wine over the years.

Where the cosy living bit from earlier comes in, is that people growing up in this country don't appreciate the subtle advantages of the system. Yes, in principle, the rich elite are whoring the working class, and yes, technically, it's a fascist state because we don't have free speech and there are all kinds of ingrown bigotries in the legal system, but on our humble little level, is life that much worse for it?

No. Life is good and plentiful: you're not going to starve to death or get shot by guerilla soldiers or get on the wrong side of a gang war. Some young idealists look at the big picture from afar, and realise that things are all wrong, and consequently they start day-dreaming and forget how good life is. They think, "fascist capitalist pigs are keeping us in this state of relative poverty, the people have no real power and are being lied to on a daily basis, politics is a messy bitch-fest that takes forever to do anything, our leaders are professional liars and con-artists. Things could be better! We should restart the whole thing from scratch, with everyone taking on equal tasks, everyone sharing wealth and resources, everyone coming to agreements together, as a community. We can be a nation of nucleated, happy communities once more."

Let's dissect this. Firstly, being ruled over by greedy capitalists has not led you into ruin. You can still get widescreen TVs and sleek, safe cars and good-quality furniture and safe, quality-checked food of every variety on earth....so, in fact, you're very fucking far from ruin.

Secondly, politicians don't lie to each other, only to us. This is very important; pay attention. The general public are stupid and hot-headed, and if the government presented every issue honestly and stated their real agendas and aims, the public would squabble, bicker and rant, the press would go crazy, and about half the politicians in power would be forced to resign just to keep the riots down. Then, the wrong decisions would be made to keep the public happy.
You see, the public aren't all smart or well-informed. A lot of us are stupid, cruel, and prejudiced. As much as you hate them for being so private, those politicians are more level-headed and open-minded than most of us. They HAVE to lie to us to keep us quiet, letting them do their real job behind closed doors. Since we're not being bombed or raided or denied resources, I'd guess they know what they're doing, too, so until the country actually goes off-track, let's leave them to it.

Thirdly, and most importantly, it doesn't matter how screwed up our nation is at the core. It doesn't matter if we built the whole thing on the wrong foundations. It doesn't matter if there might have been a better way, because there's no feasible way to change the entire thing at so fundamental a level, this late in the day. It's impossible. Drink your tap water, drive your car, work your job, learn your free education, pay your taxes, and try to understand that implementing a whole new ideal like anarchism or communism would mean uprooting all this, and for about 500 years - the most optimistic stabilisation period for a country - you wouldn't have any of this quality of life, and crime would shoot up, and there would be civil wars and gangs all over again, and the country would have to regrow from the roots up.

It's like saying that certain reptilian sub-species might have made a better dominant species than this particular mammal species. They might, but let's not all kill off 80% of humans and leave the reptiles to it for the next few billion years. Similarly, let's not overthrow the government and kill and disadvantage entire generations on the off-chance that, in hundreds of years, the country will be in a marginally better state than it is now. It's taken too long to get things this good, and I, for one, am grateful.

Did you know...?

2007-04-05T19:48:22Z

Aristotle was the first recorded individual to note the existence of female ejaculation.

Now THERE'S something they don't tell you in philosophy class.

Hachiko

2007-03-31T23:59:47Z

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hachiko

T.V.

2007-03-31T23:52:11Z

I might feel like a stranger in my own country, but at the same time in looking at "People" magazine or something similar I have the sneaking suspicion that learning about those "celebrities" would probably not be worth the effort.

-Rich Geib

(What you have to say, somebody else has said, and said it better.)

Dempsey

2007-03-25T20:02:44Z

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dempsey_%28dog%29

the writing on the wall

2007-03-18T22:23:26Z

When I was a kid - that is, when I was more of a kid - I knew an obese, amiable, down-to-earth man who lived alone, had a wall covered in Star Trek DVDs, a framed set of Star Trek collector's insignia, and could probably (I hope to God he never reads this, because he's a valued friend) count his sexual encounters on one hand.

Now. Entering my office, the first thing you see is three CD racks, in which my CD collection is arranged alphabetically. On the far wall is a giant Akira movie poster. On a shelf are my xbox, PC, game gear, mega drive and gameboy games, arranged by platform and genre.
(I'm not making this up.)
On the desk is a box set of Futurama, series one and a copy of Fatherland. Pinned on the wall is an assortment of postcards, game manuals and Rage Against The Machine quotes. On a low shelf in the corner is a pile of 40-odd issues of Time magazine. In the wastepaper basket is the Observer's latest mini-issue titled Romance: A Modern Guide.
(I wouldn't make this up even if I could, which I can't.)

It's only when I detract for a moment that I realise how it might look to an outsider.

Spellcheck Anomalies

2007-03-15T11:41:31Z

(I'll revise this as new ones come up.)

Words that MS Word's spellcheck doesn't know:

unambitious
Tchaikovsky (note: does recognise Kennedy and Reagan, however)
Rasputin (note: does recognise Roosevelt and Lennon, however)
Garriott (suggested alternative: Gratiot) [okay, this one was a bit unfair. But it DOES know Mattingly and Armstrong. Who decides these things? And who or what is Gratiot?]
iPod (suggested alternative: Epode)
intertextuality (no suggested alternatives.)

Words that MS Word's spellcheck suggests:

cockboats (for 'cockbags')
Ukases (for 'fuckass')
Rasp tin (suggested alternative for Rasputin. I'm nearly out of Rasp tins, actually. Better put it on the shopping list.)
Nazi (for an admittedly lower-cased 'Nasa'.)

....got any good songs on your Epode, Bill?

Justice

2007-02-28T11:34:18Z

President Reagan, regarding Soviet Russia:

"[...]a society which wantonly disregards individual rights and the value of human life and seeks constantly to expand and dominate other nations."

In the same wikipedia trawl, I learned that of the batallion of soldiers, the commanding officers and the Captain who carried out the My Lai massacre, only one was convicted - initially sentenced to life for multiple counts of calculated manslaughter, the Lieutenant was ordered out of prison by Nixon (while in office, naturally) after 3 years. The Captain was aquitted; the soldiers (who, incidentally, went as far as using babies for target practise at one point) were not charged due to the complications of responsibility in a chain of command.

Printer Baby

2005-11-14T16:14:01Z

Printer baby,
Plug me into your USB

Printer baby,
Slip some paper into my tray
today

Printer baby,
Putting Kodak's business away

Printer baby,
Keeping washed-up typists at bay

Printer baby,
Save a spot in landfill for me.